Double Duty Delights

I subscribe to Michael Webb’s newsletters on romance and love making tips. He is the author of a number of relationship enhancement products I promote on my websites as well. Check out the products below and sign up for the newsletters if you are interested.

• Lick by Lick: Art of Cunnilingus
• Blow by Blow: How to give mind blowing blow jobs
• 100 Great Sex Games: romantic games for lovers
• 500 Sex Tips: ideas and tips for great sex

His recent newsletter included a contest/challenge that piqued my sexual creativity interest. The essence is effectively:

There are so many ways you can spice up your marriage bed without going out to a special store for items … send a list of 10 ordinary household items that can be creatively used in a passion session. You need to explain their use too.

So, here is my list (a few more than 10):

• Food *: a fairly obvious one but lets expand on the possibilities a bit. Pudding, Jello, jams, marshmallow whip, whip cream, ice cream, yogurt or other creamy textured desserts can be applied to breasts, arms, legs, knees, feet, back, bum cheeks, stomach, navel, etc. and then licked off. Syrups like honey and chocolate sauce can be drizzled or even painted on erogenous zones – licking it out of your lover’s navel will make them squirm with delight. Some people enjoy Splooshing using other textured foods such as cooked spaghetti noodles, canned beans, pies, tapioca etc. as a messy whole body experience. Most foods will be either cool or room temperature but you can even warm some types in hot water (no microwaving) to avoid burning.


• Fruit *: although still a food, different types of fruit have special sensual properties and can provide a refreshing snack in between sex sessions. Fruit smoothies eaten before hand can make semen taste sweet for improved oral sex. Strawberries and champagne is a classic combination for romance but slippery mango slices can be used to tease nipples or ear lobes sensually before licking them. Many other types of exotic fruit also have slippery/slimy type textures making them suitable for stroking or smearing on erogenous zones before licking and sucking them clean. Fruity foreplay is great fun.


• Vegetables: such as carrots, cucumbers, zucchini, corn, etc. have obvious phallic shapes. Garden variety pleasures come in all shapes and sizes to suite your desires. Wash them thoroughly and consider using a condom on them.


• Car Wash Mitt: these things can be amazingly soft with some interesting and squishy textures. Designed not to scratch cars, they feel great for lightly stroking and caressing bare skin. Use one to awaken the nerve endings and get them ready for more. (Keep the ones for the car and your lover separate.)


• Artist Paint Brush: a soft, supple paint or make-up brush can be used to delicately tickle and sensitize all kinds of erogenous zones. Strokes, flicks, and swirls on select spots (toes, ears, neck, wrist, back of knee, etc.) will create shivers of delight. Add lube to an artist brush then swirl and flick around her clitoris, his frenulum and each others nipples. Stimulating the anus with a lubed artist brush can also feel amazing. You can also use chocolate sauce or body paints to stroke out pictures or loving thoughts on each other.


• Feather Duster: buy a few of these just for the sensual stroking possibilities they provide. Delicate tickling or soft stroking can be used to excite or relax. Use one as a prelude to an erotic massage. They can also be great fun during bondage play.


• Olive/Vegetable Oil: although this could be used as a quick substitute for lube, why bother – get the good vaginal and anal lubricants. Since vegetable oils are cheaper, they lend themselves for use in greater quantities – i.e. applying to your entire bodies. Get a large plastic tarp (or blow up pool) laid out on the floor or bed, a bottle of oil, and some old towels to cleanup with. Lovingly apply oil over your entire bodies, massage each other a bit then enjoy some slippery, intimate wrestling before having hot, slimy sex together. Don’t do this in the shower or bath – way too risky. Also check that the oil will not degrade the condoms you may be using.


• Corn Starch: this substance has a very interesting feel to it. Try dropping small clumps of it onto your naked lover. Each splash of powder will create a subtle sensation. Allow them to enjoy the nuances of this sensory pleasure before stroking the powder around and onto their body.


• Wooden Spoon: or other instrument (ping pong paddle, ruler, paint stirrer, etc.) for “warming a bottom” can be used for erotic punishment play. Use something that is light weight and start with a few gentle smacks followed by soothing strokes of your hand. If your lover is comfortable with it, increase the intensity slowly, each time massaging their buttocks in between. Once their bum is red hot, your desires for each other should match.


• Pillows: can be used for erotic pillow fights together or to make some sex positions even more comfortable. Pile up a mound of sofa pillows and try out a few creative positions on it or build a “fort” covered with blankets and make love inside. Making love on a mountain of luxurious pillows is a special treat.


• Hand Lotion: besides the obvious use for hand jobs, massage her feet with the creamy substance. Pay special attention to each toe – attempt to give her a toegasm. Then she can use her soft feet with some extra lotion to give him a foot job.


• Exercise Ball: inflatable exercise balls are great fun to have sex on. Although doggie style is the easiest, try oral sex positions, intercourse arched over on your back (him with her straddling or her with him kneeling or straddling) or even a wheelbarrow style position. The bouncy, wobbly motion adds to the fun. I am still working out the best way to attach a dildo to one of these.


• Fork & Spoon: the cold, smooth metal can create interesting sensations on different areas of the body. Drag the tines of the fork to lightly scratch and wake up the nerves. Or press it against a nipple and lick through the grooves. The smooth, cold, rounded portion of the spoon can be stroked lightly or even with a bit more pressure to create interesting sensations.


• Plastic Water Bottle: can be used to create an ice dildo – we are talking the small drinking bottles of course. Freeze a filled bottle, cut the plastic off then rinse the ice under cool water to smooth, round and shape it into a nicely sized ice dildo. Use them for a few strokes before warming the vagina again with a penis or tongue. Alternate hot and cold as desired. You might think popsicles would be easier but use these only on the outer body – never use these around or in the vagina *.


• Electric Toothbrush: create intense vibrations for clitoral and nipple stimulation. Use the back of the head and not the bristles of course. The sonic versions offer even more intense vibrations. Great for when you travel – don’t want those X-ray machines discovering your heavy duty toys. The water spraying teeth cleaners seem intriguing too.


• Clothes Pegs: these little gadgets are ready made nipple clamps. Of course, creative erotic pain play doesn’t need to stop with just nipples.


• Silky Rope: although you might not have this just laying around the house, you can easily pick up some soft, silky smooth rope at your nearest hardware store. Buy four clips and appropriately sized eye screws too. Cut the rope into four pieces, singe the ends to stop it fraying, attach a clip to one end and insert the eye screws into the bottom of the bed (or wall). Hope you get the mental image without a picture. Loosely wrapping the rope around a wrist or ankle can create a safe bondage scenario without actually using knots.


• Chrome Chain: again, not something you usually have lying around the house but easily available, smooth-link, chrome chain can be cut into small sections to make exotic “heavy metal” lingerie. Some strips of leather and an eyelet punch or rivet gun will also come in handy.


• Soap & Shampoo: showering and washing each other can be a very sensual and highly erotic activity. Shampoo and condition your lover’s hair while massaging their scalp and holding them close in the warm water. Lather them with soap and caress their entire body while it is slick with suds. Slither and slide against each other. And once you are both fresh and clean, oral sex is a good way to finish off.


• Shower Massager: in addition to soothing sore muscles, detachable massaging shower heads can be used for genital stimulation.


• String of Pearls: or other smooth, round beads can be used for sensual massage. With some lube, they can also be used for extra special hand jobs. If you are really adventurous, a string of pearls (sans clasp) can be inserted anally and withdrawn during orgasm.


• Old Clothing: strategically cut the seams on old items of underwear and clothing. Then engage in an intense roleplaying scenario that involves having your clothing torn off. Ravish each other passionately. Or get some classier clothes on that you don’t mind getting dirty in - roleplay a movie scene or fantasy and have sex with your clothes mostly on.


• Ball Bearings/Marbles: roll these around and over your lover’s body with or without clothing. Try them with lube or massage oil on naked skin. Or put them in a soft cushy sock or a small satin bag so they slide and roll with a different feel. You can also use them as a form of virtual bondage – while standing naked, eyes closed, arms outstretched, palms facing downward, balance a marble on each of your lover’s hands between their fingers. Their task is to maintain the balance while you pleasure them with your fingers, feather, tongue, etc. When the marble falls, the foreplay game ends.


• Flowers: a gift of flowers is always appreciated but you can take this touch of romance a little further and give your lover a surprise sensual treat. Have your lover lie naked on the bed, close their eyes and focus on their sense of touch. Ever so lightly, stroke their body with a soft velvety rose. Start with their face. Lips and eye lids are very sensitive. Slide down to their nipples and eventual between their legs. Delightfully tickle and tease every erotic region of their body. Rose petals on the sheets or in a bath are also nice.


• Perfume & Cologne: without any other scent on, dab a special scent on one small secret spot on your body. Your lover’s task is to kiss and lick you all over until they find it then you switch. A flavored lube works well for this too. Also, if you have a special scent you reserve just for making love, spray some on your lover’s pillow just before bed time to trigger an automatic response. A sexy note sprayed with your love scent will have them aroused and thinking of you the entire day.


• Paint Roller: if you have every looked in the painting supply section with an erotic imagination, the small, textured rollers just seem to jump out and say “play with me”. Try a roller massage. Use a textured roller with a sticky substance (chocolate, syrup, etc.) to can create even more interesting sensations.


• Cards, Dice, Games: create your own foreplay games by assigning activities to numbers, cards, or events in a game. Design a sexual forfeit/reward system for losing/winning or just use the game components to enjoy some random sex.


• Furniture: look around your house for different locations to have sex on, in, under or around. Kitchen table, washer on spin cycle, closet, bench, counter top, lawn chair, rocker, etc. Consider different positions and even oral sex vs intercourse based on the type of furniture.


• Sleeping Bag: setup a tent or make one with blankets and make love inside. Play a CD with nature sounds – rain and thunder, winter storm, or night sounds help to make your love den feel even more comfy and cozy.


• Camera: with or without film, play erotic photographer and encourage your lover to shed their clothes and their inhibitions. You can concentrate on the emotions or actually try to create some fine erotic art.


• Clock/Timer: use a clock or timer to pace your erotic activities. Either set a specific time for select types of activities (30 minutes massage, 20 minutes cunnilingus, etc.) or set a time limit before intercourse is allowed. Or, use a timer set for 2 minutes and see if you can bring your lover to orgasm in that time while they try to resist. Switch after the timer goes off – first to orgasm loses a sexual forfeit. You can also use the clock to create a sense of urgency for quickie sex. Start the timer for 10-20 minutes and go for it fast and furious – when the clock goes off you stop even if you didn’t get off.


• Candles: are excellent for creating a romantic atmosphere but can be used for more erotic purposes as well. Their shape and texture lend themselves for use as a dildo substitute (vaginally and anally). And, dripping wax on exposed skin can be highly erotic. Just note that some candles burn at higher temperatures so always test on your fore arm first. Candles in a jar allow the melted wax to build up and cool slightly.


• Recorder: try recording the sounds of your passionate love making and listen to it later. Knowing that you are recording may encourage you to liven up your sex noises a little which will re-enforce your emotional enjoyment as well.


• Spin the Bottle: is a game that can be adapted for two. Each of you round up a few sexy items to play with (sex toys, food, DVD, lingerie, etc.) and place them in a circle. Leave a spot for yourselves of course. Place the bottle in the middle (use a glass dildo or plastic vibrator if you have one) and spin it to determine which item you will play with. If it points to you, you get to request or perform a foreplay activity of your choice (start with stripping if desired). Alternate spinning and repeat as often as you can before ravishing each other.


• Mint Flavor: in the form of toothpaste, candies, liquors, etc. can be used to enhance blow jobs (fellatio only – not recommended for cunnilingus).


• Cell Phone: at night when the rates are cheap, go into separate rooms and call each other for some hot phone sex. When you build the passion levels to a fever pitch, find your lover for some physical satisfaction. With two cell phones or a cordless set, you can play erotic hide and seek while talking dirty to each other.

There are also many items with smooth, phallic shaped contours (markers, brush handle, etc.) that can be used for obvious purposes but put some thought into safety before you attempt them. Avoid anything breakable or easily lost inside. Also avoid open bottles since they tend to create a vacuum type suction that can be dangerous. Although the taboo aspect of using these items may be arousing, sometimes it is just better to buy the right tool for the job.

* Warning : Do not apply sugary or sweet substances near or in the vagina – causes nasty yeast infections. There are special flavored lubes that are designed for enhancing cunnilingus in this way.

This contest is similar to my Sexual Creativity Stimulator concepts:

• Shopping For Sex: any store can be viewed as a source for sexual accessories. The available products may not be designed for sex but many can be easily adapted or modified for your pleasure. Consider special uses for groceries, hardware, regular toys, games, crafts, fabrics, furniture, etc. Examine items from a pleasure perspective: how will it feel or how can it be used to stimulate each other?


• Tactile Tactics: the texture of various objects can provide amazing sensual pleasures. When used erotically, even mundane items can be used for intimate delight. Consider different types of materials (soft, squishy, hard, smooth, coarse, etc.) or objects with sensual, stimulating shapes. Experiment and explore various erogenous zones over the entire body. Also see how the sensations change when your lover is blindfolded.


• Double Duty: although not specifically designed for sex, regular household items have the potential to be used for pleasure. Consider the texture, shape, size, temperature and how it will feel stroking, tapping, scratching, rubbing, etc. on various areas of the body.

Let me know what you think especially if you try any of the ideas above.

Enjoying Erotica Together

Sexual material intended to arouse, titillate, educate and inspire has been around since the dawn of human history. Until recently, erotica has been primarily the prized possession of only the wealthy or ruling classes. Throughout the ages, paintings, sculptures and literary works of art have depicted our sexual nature in all its forms. From romantic and beautiful to mysterious and fanciful to nasty and depraved, great pieces of artwork have the power to trigger strong emotions and stimulate our imagination. How you perceive and react to this erotic material is a reflection of your self and your own secret desires and fears.

Openly sharing your thoughts, feelings and desires with your lover can be more intimate than sex itself. It is a delicate subject. It may even be intimidating to face your own thoughts and feelings. But, with a playful attitude, various types of erotica can be used to introduce and explore many diverse sexual topics with your lover. Erotic literature and art can be a valuable source for new ideas to enhance your sexual enjoyment together. There are various genres of erotica to suite your personal preference, stimulate specific desires or satisfy a certain need:

• Randy Readers: Erotic romance novels and short stories for women are becoming extremely popular for both sexes. The Black Lace series, for example, are very well written and their popularity is encouraging more. Although reading is generally a solitary activity, sharing snippets of the storyline can be enough to draw your lover into the fantasy with you. Short erotic stories for couples are also available that can be read out loud to each other. Collections of sexual fantasies are available to inspire your own or reassure yourself that others have similar thoughts. Nancy Friday’s books include a broad range of fantasies from men and women. And of course, there are magazines with letters depicting erotic activities and sexual adventures. Whether real or professionally written, these stories can be entertaining either way.
• Carnal Knowledge: Modern sex manuals and how to guides usually come with some juicy descriptive text segments and full color pictures or illustrations. Browsing for and discussing new sexual ideas that pique your interest is a great way to expand your sexual repertoire. Ideas that get a positive reaction can be tried right away or mentally stored for future fun and games. Try picking a book and have your lover choose a page number randomly then experiment with an idea on that page.
• Prurient Paintings: Drawings, illustrations and paintings in various media depict human (and non-human) sexuality in all sorts of realistic and fanciful forms. Erotic art from various countries, cultures and historic time periods may stimulate your interests and may even provide the inspiration for a roleplaying fantasy. Use the erotic imagination of the artist to stimulate your own wild thoughts. Discovering how each other interprets the image can be enlightening. Accentuating your bedroom with special pieces of erotic art can turn it into a pleasure den – a constant reminder of your passionate desires. Or, purchase a few erotic art books or electronic collections for periodic browsing now and again. Each viewing will stimulate new desires.
• Sensual Sounds: Although most people are visually oriented, many prefer aural stimulation. Erotic audio programs are available with guided sexual fantasies complete with sound effects. The Cyborgasm CDs utilized 3D sound technology that can immerse you in the experience. Although you may be able to enact the story as it progresses, mutual masturbation or oral sex while listening together can be just as thrilling. Try two headphones connected with a Y-splitter. Even a background porn sound track can be exciting while having sex together.
• Films & Photos: Pictorial magazines and adult videos are the mainstream types of erotica. Although pornography has a bad reputation, it does serve a useful purpose in many intimate relationships. The market has shifted to include more female oriented content with an emphasis on quality. Romantic, erotic and hard core adult films and still images are available to suite the level of explicitness desired and almost every conceivable sexual activity you could imagine. Animations and special effects are being used to visually explore the very wild side of eroticism. While not every one will like the same type of material, exploring different types and styles of visual entertainment together opens the possibility of discovering something mutually enjoyable.
• Physical Beauty: Statues, sculptures and even smaller sexual artifacts can be erotic. Body art and fashion (including lingerie) can also be stimulating. Sensual dance, risqué performance art and even live sex shows are other avenues for erotic adventure.

Not all erotic art will arouse you directly but may just trigger interesting thoughts and sexy ideas. Like it, love it or leave it, at least be open to experimenting with various types and styles of erotica. With an open mind, the power of choice and an enthusiastic sense of adventure, a wealth of erotic possibilities are available for you to discover and enjoy.

Consider creating your own erotic art together. Highlight what you find beautiful and attractive about your lover or yourself. Take a life drawing or digital photography course together and practice expressing yourselves as artist or subject. You can use a computer paint application to enhance your work before making a print to hang on your wall. Or create a slide show for your digital picture frame. Alternatively, try crafting an erotic story, poem or screen play detailing one of your fantasies. You can even film your own erotic scenes and use video editing software to create a sexual master piece. Have fun making and enjoying your erotic art together in what ever form you desire. The more you think about sex together, the more you will want it together.

Appreciating quality erotic art in all its forms should be encouraged. Some artists will push against boundaries and restrictions while others will unfortunately have their talents for creative eroticism suppressed. It can be extremely rewarding to enjoy erotic art with your lover. Becoming aware of how and why you respond to specific nuances of the material will give you insights into each other’s erotic nature. And, with a greater, more intimate understanding of yourself and your lover, you have the foundation to build a better relationship together.

What is your favorite type of erotica and what makes it special for you?